Relationships tend to be complicated. There are gives and takes, ups and downs, and of course the rocking of backs and forths. Eventually a couple will hit the wall and decide for a myriad of reasons the relationship needs to end. This will either happen amicably or one person will make their exit while the other insists it can be worked out. Both parties go through the grieving period and they slowly try to piece their lives back together.
A woman will find that she’s no longer missing “him,” she no longer looks at her phone hoping he calls, and she can finally get used to the lack of warmth on the other side of the bed. And just when it seems like she’s turned the corner, the ex-boyfriend shows up wanting to reconcile and try again.
The question going through her head is, of course, why? And here are four reasons why a man would come back to a woman after a break-up. (It should be noted these things are heavily dependent on the what led to the break-up in the first place and they should not be taken as a “one size fits all” option.)
1. He still loves you. The simplest and most self-explanatory of all the options presented. We’ve all been in relationships where even though the relationship was broken, it didn’t mean the emotions were severed as well. Sometimes relationships get convoluted and two people will lose themselves in the day-to-day activities. Couples can get so caught up in all of the “goings-ons” of life that they forget why they’re together in the first place. Unfortunately, one of the things that will get overlooked is the love between both people.
Maybe the break-up came after a heated argument or there was simply a lack of communication. Maybe a man just had too much going on at the time and felt like being in a relationship was overwhelming. Whatever the case, love is something we’ve relied on to explain situations we otherwise have no explanation for. When men fall in love, they fall hard and for some men, just walking away from that love without giving it a last ditch effort isn’t enough.
2. He’s grown up a bit and wants a chance to rekindle that old flame. Love can be inconvenient. A man might be in a stage of life where he’s trying to establish himself and working on the foundation to build his future. And in the midst of all that he may end up finding love before he’s attained those goals. From my observation women, generally, tend to believe that love can happen at anytime and are more apt to go with the flow rather than put it off until later.
A lot of men, on the other hand, try to get into the groove of identifying who they are professionally before they decide to take on the personal. We tend to be cognizant of missed opportunities and situations which would have played out much differently had they happened a bit later in our development. A man will occasionally reach out to one of the people in his past because he feels as if he’s in a better place to accept and nurture that love.
3. He knows you’re going to take him back. Unfortunately, there’s an ugly side to all of this. Some men decide a woman is invested in them to the point where rejecting said man isn’t really an option. Truthfully, people in general don’t do a good enough job of controlling their behavior when presented with what seems to be a limitless opportunity.
For example, let’s say I handed you a debit card to a bank account with an unlimited amount of money in it. When handing you this card I say, “you can use as much money as you want without any drawback, but try to limit your spending to only $100 a month. Nothing will happen to you if you use more than that, but I’m just asking you to only use it moderation.”
More than likely, if there’s no reasonable explanation for you to NOT use that money, you’re going to use as much of it as you like. That’s typically what’s happening with men being the person handed the debit card, and women being used as the bank account. If some men know they has unlimited access to you to wield at their discretion, unfortunately, they’re going to take advantage.
4. You’re a security blanket. I haven’t lived in my mother’s house in almost six years. My mother loves me dearly though, and she will always welcome me back into her house if I felt the need to move there. I go to sleep at night peacefully knowing no matter what happens in my life or how many mistakes I make, I can always go back to my mom’s house if I need to sit down for a while and get my ish together.
In some cases, men understand women are willing to go through a great deal of personal discomfort in order to make them feel no pain. The willingness to compromise in that manner is something men tend to love about women, but it’s also something that can easily be manipulated for the negative. Men who know women will always “keep” them whenever they fall on hard times, will sometimes use that to their advantage. In these scenarios, it might not always be a situation where feelings are involved on the man’s behalf, it might simply be a survival tactic. He knows the woman in question will provide whenever he needs it, so he knows no matter how far he strays he can always come right back.
These are but a few of the many reasons men come back to women after the relationship is supposed to be over, so let’s hear from you. What are some of the reasons you think men have come back to you after a relationship? Do you usually find it to be a positive or negative experience? Have you found yourself in any of the situations I’ve just listed and what have you done about it?
Hit the comment box and let me know.
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