The 10 Things Men Do In Bed That Every Girl Hates

To the men who don’t secretly skim Cosmo or are gravely misled by Esquire magazine, take a glance at this post.

Just as you have your strong opinions about our sexual performance, we’ve got some things to say about you men, too. This is us not-so-subtly telling you to stop doing all the annoying stuff you think we’re enjoying (we’re not).

And we know you’ll listen because let’s face it: we’re the ones who hold all the p*ssy power.

1. Pushing The Back Of Our Heads


The fastest way to make us bite your d1ck off is to slam our necks into your crotch. If you don’t like the favors we’re so generously handing out, then encouragingly tell us what feels great or just do it yourself. There’s nothing more degrading than trying to control a woman when she’s clearly in charge. Try swallowing your own pride, if you know what we mean.

2.Releasing Your Entire Body Weight On Us


Look, we understand that it gets tiring being on top the whole time, but when you rest your entire body weight on us, you’re actually crushing our ribs with your whale humping. Try using those biceps you bragged about earlier to prop yourself up or just switch positions. We can’t feel anything when we feel your weight like a boulder on our stomachs.

3.Pulling A Fast One


Hmmm, how do we put this eloquently? Just like we had to consent for you to put it in the main hole, you’re going to have to get the “okay” first before you put it in the back hole. A lot of women don’t like it and a lot of women do — verbally find out which category she falls into instead of using the “trial and error” method. If you impulsively do it prior to asking (RUDE), she has every right to backhand you.

4.Skipping Foreplay


Here’s a heads up (literally): unless you’re Leo DiCap, we’re going to want a warm-up session before the main event. This is when all the excitement happens, so don’t sell you and your girl short.

5.Saying “Hi”


If you don’t have anything to say, we’d prefer you say nothing at all instead of greeting us with a “Hi.” Pretty sure we exchanged pleasantries at the beginning of the night, no need to say “Hello” again, we’re still here. And really, what do you want us to respond back? “Sup, nm u?”


6.The Jack Rabbit


Are you trying to break ground in our v@ginas? You’re not going to strike gold jack hammering your p3nis inside your lady. Remember, there’s vital organs in there that make babies, too.

7.Drowning Us In The Shower


If there’s water involved, be sure you’re not choking your partner under the faucet. When you hear “gurggle gurggle” noises, chances are she’s drowning under the spray. S3xual activity in the shower is fun — until someone gets hurt.

8.Splashing On Our Freshly Laundered Sheets


Remember the phrase “if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say it”? Well, if you don’t have any place nice to spray, then don’t spray it. Yes, we are planning on washing our sheets anyway, but we’d rather not lie in your body fluids in the time being. Be respectful of our property and we may invite you back next week.

9.“Forgetting” To Ask If She’s On The Pill


Your negligence will cost you. Safe s3x is just as much our responsibility as it is yours. End of discussion.
10.Playing Awful Music


Nothing kills a mood more than listening to heavy electro rave sounds — last we checked we’re getting it on, not embarking on a galactic space trip to Mars. Same goes for crap like “Boyz II Men” or whatever throwback nonsense you think is awesomely fun, but really awesomely lame. And if you play “Drake” in the background, you’ve officially given yourself up as the softest guy out there.

How to Know He Loves You: Stress Him Out

How to Know He Loves You: Stress Him Out





This is not what a committed relationship should feel like.

I’ve had a number of female friends over the years ask, How can I tell he loves me? I’ve answered this question a lot of different ways but when it boils down to it, the best way to tell if a man loves you is to STRESS. HIM. OUT.

I’m serious.

You’re probably thinking to yourself, “Stress him out? That’s ridiculous!” That’s because you’ve been brainwashed. 1) A man has to care about you enough to even let you stress him out. 2) If a manreally loves you, a little stress is not going to make him leave. An oft glossed over fact of life is that relationships take work. If a man is willing to work on your relationship, it’s because he cares. If he runs at the first sign of hardship he didn’t value you or the relationship very much.

You know the type of women that get caught up in years and years of pseudo-relationship with no commitment or direction? The laid-back woman. The woman that causes a man no stress what-so-ever is the type he keeps around but never commits to. Sure, they may never fight because what do they have to fight about? The relationship has no substance. She is perfectly content holding on to the hope of commitment instead of facing the reality that it may never come but she fo-damn-sho won’t “stress him out” by asking a simple, yet pertinent question, “where is this relationship going?”

Unfortunately, it is the women who follow the men’s plan – even if it is completely contradictory to their own – that end up frustrated and confused when he suddenly leaves because he was never emotionally vested in the relationship.

Just as women prefer alpha males, men like women with a backbone. If you let a man get away with all kinds of non-sense he shouldn’t get away with, consciously or subconsciously, he will lose respect for you. And no, I’m not saying (or excusing) he will treat you bad. He just has no incentive to treat you great, let alone put a ring on it. If his minimum has proven sufficient, why put in the excess effort of giving you his best?

Too often, my lady friends are willing to change their entire make up as a person simply to be with a man they like because she’s afraid if she’s herself that same man won’t like the “real her.” She’ll change employment, residence, personality, religion and the list goes on and on to make her fit the mold she thinks this man wants before she’ll do something as crazy as be herself. In reality, a man doesn’t want to fall for the woman you’re pretending to be – you won’t be able to keep that farce up anyway – he wants to fall in love with the woman you are. In other words, be yourself, so we can fall in love with you not your representative.

Assuming you have reasonable expectations, standards and goals, then voice them to us. Give us an opportunity to figure out if we can and will love the real you. Important to you, let us accurately assess if we can be the man you want and need. Don’t get me wrong, you should remain open to negotiation but you shouldn’t bite your tongue either. That comes off as weak. It also comes off as fake. Otherwise, we’ll both be unhappy when you “change.” But technically, you never changed. All you really did was become your self after the guarantee of commitment…well damn…it’s nice to finally meet you.
If you religiously watch VH1 reality shows, talk during Tyler Perry movies, drink 40 malt liquors, curse like a sailor and smoke cigarillos, then don’t go to the opera, keep your mouth closed during a Kevin Smith marathon, choke down wine and never curse simply because you’re hanging around us. Changing on your own accord is one thing, faking changing into someone you are not to obtain someone’s affections is misleading. If you have a tough question, ask it. If something’s bothering you, voice it. If in being yourself, you stress him out and he leaves. F-him! It’s his loss, not yours. He couldn’t accept the real you, which only means he doesn’t deserve any of you. Point. Blank. Period.

When a man doesn’t care about a future with a woman he retreats at the first sign of stress. You ask where this relationship is going? He disappears. You ask if he wants more than sex from you? He stops calling. You want to know why his ex-girlfriend keeps calling at 3am? He tells you you’re trippin to the point where you actually believe you are trippin. YOU ARE NOT TRIPPIN. These are perfectly reasonable questions that any logical person with half a brain should ask and should receive an honest response. Do not let some man tell you they are not. Reverse psychology is older than the words of the Bible. Don’t fall for it. Know your worth and expect, if not demand, he honor it. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

I’m not saying you should run into the next room and slap your man upside the head. I am saying you shouldn’t have act like someone completely different than who you are naturally in order to get a man to fall in love with you. Doesn’t that mean he isn’t really in love with you?

It’s possible he may leave you, but what have you really lost? A man that never respected you enough to commit or respect you as a person? That doesn’t seem like much of a loss to me. It seems like a gain. When a man loves a woman, he doesn’t abscond as soon as the relationship is tested. He looks at it as an opportunity to strengthen the relationship. This is the man you should have in your life instead of settling for someone willing to remain simply because you never stress him out. After all, that might be the only reason he’s keeping you around.

Never Touch These Seven Places On The Body Of A Woman

MUST READ--- Never Touch These Seven Places On The Body Of A Woman...PLEASE I BEG

The stir has listed 7 places that a man should think before touching his partner because it might turn her off in a bad way.
These places are where you touch and immediately hear Don't Touch, Ouch, I am no longer in the mood.

The study was done to help men who don't think about this and rub up on their female partner like a piano.

1. The n1pple.

The nipple should be avoided being touched when she is breastfeeding and when she is about to have her period because it really hurts.

2. The Leg.

When the leg is not shaved, you men should avoid it because it makes her feel hairy and dirty. Women want to be smooth and when you touch there, they realize, they aren't and it makes them feel lazy and unattractive.



3. The V4gina.

When she hasn't taken her bath, please don't go down on her because she knows and is definitely not feeling fresh. Respect it because your attempt will be futile. She might not enjoy it because she is worrying about her odor anyway.

4. The Backdoor.

Never go knocking without a lubricant, its like trying to fit your whole hand into your mouth, its painfull.

5. Hair.

This is common sense anyman who has been dating knows this, if she is coming back from the salon, Hands off the hair.

6. Face.

When she is feeling oily or has a pimple problem, don't touch the face just compliment her and hug her cause believe me she knows about her face and feels dirty.

7. The Stomach.

The universal arguement starter (Do i look fat) come to play in this one, after a huge meal avoid this area, if you are looking to get lucky because she is thinking to herself that she looks fat especially those of them who obsess over having a flat tummy Or during a premenstrual bloat.

4 signs He is NOT that into you

Ladies, take stock in your dating partner. There are signals that you need to be hip to that will tell if your dude is “just not into you.”

1. Time. When you are with him, you start feeling like time is not on your side. That’s your intuition talking. Listen to it. If it seems he never has any time for you, take look-see. One thing that will always remain true is that a man will always make time for things or peoplethat are important to him, especially the love of his life.

2. He’s always asking you to go 50/50 on everything. It’s nice to have a woman who can chip in to help from time to time. And maybe you are even capable of footing the bill. However, if he insists that everything is always even, including your dinner dates, and that you get this one and he gets the next one and it goes back and forth, he’s definitely not in love with you. A man with pride would never do that.

3. FRIENDS – If you’ve been dating for a while and he continues to refer to you as his “friend,” he’s not in love with you. Even if he wereyour friend, he wouldn’t lead you on like that. If he says you are justfriends, that’s what you are. Do not have any expectations of anything else.

4. He often ignores your phone calls and doesn’t call back. You have hope, but deep down in your heart, you know that his love is not true.If he’s ignoring your calls, he’s just not that into you. If a man cares about you, he wants to talk to you. Honestly, if you are calling all the time, you may be coming across as needy and that will drive a man crazy.

30+ Sweetest Things to Do with Your Girlfriend

Are you looking for ways to spend more time together and make her feel more special? Use these 30+ sweet things to do with your girlfriend to do just that! 

When you’re in love, there just aren’t enough happy things to do with each other, and for each other, don’t you think?

You constantly look for ways to display your love.

And you’re always eager to please your girlfriend just to see a smile on her face.

But love is a game of stages.



And irrespective of whether you’re still infatuated by your girl or deeply in love with her, the easiest way to let her know you care is by displaying your affection.

If you’ve been in a relationship for a while now, the cheesy displays of love and public display of affection would probably have come down a notch or two.

And that’s completely acceptable. After all, we can’t really stay in the infatuation stage all our life, can we?

Sweet things to do with your girlfriend

As the relationship evolves, the guy generally stops trying too hard to please his girlfriend *now that he’s wooed her and won her over*. And this is when insecurities and confusions in love start to come out in the open.



But if you truly love your girlfriend and want to make her feel loved and secure in the relationship, don’t stop indulging in romantic gestures.

Affectionate gestures may not really prove your love for her, but it’ll surely make her feel special and cared for.

A little more love and fun can make both your lives a lot happier and meaningful. After all, the happiest of relationships are the ones filled with romantic and playful gestures.

30+ really sweet things to do with your girlfriend to make her feel loved

The sweetest things you can do for your girlfriend are the smallest and effortless ones. It’s the gestures you display when she least expects it. Use any of these 30+ things to do with your girlfriend, and your relationship will become a lot happier, playful and spontaneous in no time!

#1 Give her a massage. Most guys completely underestimate just how relaxing a massage is to a girl. Just place your palms on her shoulders and her face will light up with a thankful smile!

#2 Go out impromptu. If both of you are just relaxing at home, plan something spontaneous and take her out for ice cream or coffee. Girls love spontaneous surprises.

#3 Help her with her chores. If you’re lazing around the house, and your girlfriend’s busy slaving on her chores, get your butt off and offer to help her.

#4 Motivate her. Motivation always works twice as well if both of you do things together. If your girlfriend’s struggling to keep herself motivated to do something, join her and work towards the goal together.

Working out together is always a great way to start motivating each other, and let’s not forget how sexy and irresistible both of you would look after a few months of working out.

#5 Buy a little something. Every now and then, stop on your way to meet her and pick up a small something, be it flowers, something to eat or even a silly something. It’s a great way to make her feel more loved without going out of your way to do something.

#6 A little holiday. Plan a secret romantic vacation or a weekend getaway to a place she loves or has always wanted to visit.

#7 Remember her dates. Keep the special dates in mind and make each one of them memorable, even if it’s just with a card or a flower.

#8 Take her out. Ask your girlfriend to dazzle and dress up and tell her you’re planning to take her to a candlelight dinner that night. 

#9 Do silly things together. The more playful you are, the happier your relationship will be. Fool around with your girlfriend by teasing her or whispering in her ear while nibbling it. Play games together, watch an entire season of a show or make a funny home video together while miming to a rock song!

#10 Make time for her. If you haven’t been able to spend enough time with her recently, cancel a couple of appointments or a few hours of male bonding time and instead, spend that time with your girlfriend doing something that both of you enjoy.

#11 Serenade her. As clichéd and corny as it sounds, it’s really romantic. And it can be really funny too, especially if you aren’t a good singer. Play the song ‘My girl’ by The Temptations in the background and sway around as you mouth the lyrics to her. She’s going to love it!

#12 Complete her bucket list. Sit down with her and ask her about the things she wants to do this month, year, or in her lifetime. And once she shares her thoughts, help her strike a few of her things-to-do from that list.


#13 Gift her a pet. If you think your girlfriend is into animals, gift her a pet. A pup or a kitten is perfect for someone who loves them. And if you want to gift something easier to take care of, gift her a fish bowl with two fishes and name them for her!

#14 A spa treat. Gift your girlfriend with a spa gift card or a day pass at the spa, and spend the time together at the spa.

#15 The last chip. Everyone wants the last potato chip even if they’re nice enough to decline it. When both of you are eating something together, always offer the last bite to your girlfriend. It’s a small gesture, but it’s a sacrifice that’s going to make your girlfriend fall more in love with you. [

#16 Paint a portrait. You don’t have to be an artist. If both of you are lazing together one afternoon, take a piece of paper and sketch a picture of her. Even if it’s a funny caricature, it’s something that’ll remind her of the good times even years later.

#17 Cuddle her. Cuddle her and caress her without trying to use the excuse as foreplay. Cuddling your girlfriend will release feel good chemicals that’ll make her feel more happy and loved.

#18 Keep the little things in mind. Never overlook the little things, like carrying the grocery bags for her, or holding hands while walking down a street or crossing it. Give her the better seat or let her have the better view wherever you are, at a restaurant or on a flight.

#19 Surprise her. If she’s out and you have some time in your hands, surprise her by doing something for her that she was supposed to do when she gets back. It could be something as simple as doing her chores, washing the dishes, or even preparing dinner for her. After all, it’s always the little things that have the biggest impact in love.

#20 Create memories for her. Join new activities together or do something for the first time together. Snap pictures each time both of you try something new, and create a photo album for her. Within a few months, you would have created a whole book of memories that would last a lifetime.

#21 Be there for her. Let her see that you’re always there for her, and are willing to be the shoulder for her to lean on. Stand by her during her rough times and give her your complete support instead of ridiculing her or putting her down.

#22 Drop a note. Guys may think this is corny, but it’s still something that’ll make your girlfriend beam with happiness. Text or write a sweet message to her out of the blue. If u can’t be corny in love, then send her a link to a romantic song and tell her that the song reminds you of her.

#23 Say ‘I love you’. Look into her eyes and tell her that you love her. You don’t need to stare hard, just look into her eyes and the magic will work.

#24 Be thoughtful. Thoughtfulness is a trait that all girls love in a guy, but it’s still something no one talks about. If she’s running late for something, help her arrange her stuff, or if her iPad’s battery is about to run out, charge it for her, or prepare a hot cup of coffee for her when she’s coming to your place to meet you after a long day at work.

#25 Protect her. Make a woman feel protected and cared for, and she’ll love you more for it. Walk her to her car or to her doorsteps after a date. Call her to make sure she’s reached her place. Let her know that you’re concerned for her, and she’s always on your mind.

#26 While she’s sleeping. You love staring at her while she sleeps, so why not make her feel more comfortable too? Tuck her in the bed and arrange the pillows for her to make it comfortable. Or if she falls asleep on the couch, place a cushy pillow under her head and cover her with a blanket if she’s feeling cold.

#27 Kiss her in mid sentence. If your girlfriend is saying something to you, and you can’t think of anything but how cute she looks, don’t hold back. Just kiss her. You’ll love it, and she’ll think you’re really sweet too.

#28 Be a gentleman. Put your girlfriend’s needs before yours when she’s with you. It’s what a gentleman would do, be it about picking the restaurant or choosing a movie to watch that night.
#29 Don’t disturb her just to get her attention. If you know she’s sleeping or working hard on something, don’t disturb her by getting excited or noisy just because you’re bored and looking for attention.

#30 Give up bad habits together. If your girlfriend is trying to give up a bad habit, be it smoking or excessive shopping, give her the emotional support she needs. And likewise, if there’s a bad habit of yours she’s trying to help you get rid of, help her help you.

#31 Talk about her dreams. All of us have big dreams, but very few of us have the drive and the determination to follow it. Talk about her dreams and discuss ways by which she can achieve it. Help her work on deadlines and create a list of things to do, and before she realizes it herself, you would have helped her do more than just dream. You could help her make the dream a reality. 

#32 Be her man Friday. As a guy, you know you’re better at some things than she is. So if there are a few things you’re good at doing, like fixing her car or speeding up her laptop, do it for her. Be the guy she can always depend on to fix anything in her life because you’re so awesome!

#33 Listen to her. Sometimes, just listen to her without trying to offer advice all the time. If she’s had a bad day and wants to bitch about things that annoy her, just lend her your ear and your sympathetic voice.

#34 The important days. Birthdays and anniversaries are important, no doubt. But in all of our lives, there are days when we’re aspiring for something bigger, be it a job interview, a new project, or a new achievement. If your girlfriend is focused on an important day, help her by being there for her, supporting her, and offering your help around the house so she can focus all her attention on the task.

#35 Dinner with guy friends. If you’re going out for dinner and drinks with your guy friends and your girlfriend’s eating alone at home, order a takeaway for your girlfriend and make sure you bring something back for her. It’s a very sweet gesture, especially if your girlfriend’s feeling too bored to cook for herself *you can always take a few desserts home if she’s already had dinner*.

#36 Pillow talk together. There’s nothing more satisfying than lying in each other’s arms and talking about the good things and the good times. Pillow talk is one of the most important ingredients in a happy romance, and it’s something that’ll bring both of you a lot closer too!

You don’t always need to splurge on your girlfriend to make her happy and feel loved. Sometimes, all you need are the little things that take no effort at all. Just try any of these 30+ things to do with your girlfriend, and you’ll see how easy it can be!

25 Reasons Why Women Cheat in relationships

Why do women cheat in a relationship? Are women easy to trick or are they just confused? Read these 25 truthful reasons no one ever told you about! By Jake Butler

Ever wondered why women cheat so easily?



For as long as we could remember, we’ve always thought that men were the bigger cheaters.

But now we know that it’s just a lie.

Why women cheat

Ever had your heart ripped apart by a woman who decided that it was quitting time and bulldozed her way out of your life?

Fret not, you’re not alone.

In reality, women cheat quite often. And we’re not even talking about those drunken kisses and gropes.



You may know a few reasons behind why women cheat.

Women cheat to fill the emotional void that’s empty after a man neglects her, or perhaps the sexual preferences in the marriage are just too different.

But through my experience, I’ve seen that women cheat for completely different reasons.

And the biggest reason why women cheat?

Well, that’s because they can!

So why do women cheat like there’s no tomorrow?

Looking for real life reasons behind why women cheat? Well, these 25 truthful reasons will reveal the real truth. 

#1 Women get too close to others, too fast. Women build strong emotional connections really fast. It’s easy for them to get close to a guy and confuse the bond with love.

#2 They love any man who can give them emotional support. It’s true. Want to steal a girlfriend, just give her a shoulder to lean on. She’ll give you her bed to sleep on.

#3 Women favor the gene pool. They instinctively want to favor the gene pool and play their part for Mother Nature by constantly picking other dating and mating potentials.

#4 Women fall in love fast. They fall in love too fast with just about anyone who shows affection. They try playing hard to get, but almost always end up becoming really easy to get for potential girlfriend stealers.

#5 Women are progressive. They like sprucing men up and working on little man projects now and then. And just when you think you’ve been perfected by your girlfriend, she’ll find another man to perfect.

#6 Women love drama and gossip in their lives. It’s the truth. Women get bored extremely easily and need constant attention and drama in their lives. Once the man settles down in love, the woman starts unsettling.

#7 They’re confused about their feelings almost all the time. A girl may love her man generally, but her mood swings ebb and flow like the tides of the sea. She likes her man sometimes, and she bitches about him at other times. Add another man into the equation and it’s a teen sitcom.

#8 Women are suckers for affection and compliments. Women fall for compliments and flirty touches really easily. When another guy flirts with your girl, she may think she’s just having fun. But in reality, she’d be falling for him even if he’s just having fun.

#9 It’s ridiculously easy to make a girl doubt her own boyfriend. All another guy has to do is point a few flaws, talk sweet, touch her in a few places, and she’ll start to think her boyfriend’s a loser and the new guy is a s3x god who’s in love with her.

#10 Women say they don’t want to stray. But yet all they think about is straying. Every time a guy flirts with a girl, she temporarily forgets she has a boyfriend already!

#11 Women close their eyes while kissing another guy. Yeah, just shut your damn eyes and say it all happened so fast! Women get physical and then say it was a mistake. Men, on the other hand try covering it up by saying it didn’t happen. Women want pity, men forgive them. Men get caught, become a punching bag.

#12 Women always think they’re in a relationship crisis. When a woman’s life’s not crackling with romantic and s3xual electricity, they always think their relationship sucks. Women say they don’t like vibrating, entertaining s3x toys and dildos, but yet they want men to behave like one.


#13 Women think they’re too good. Almost all women think they’re too good for their boyfriend. With that kind of logic, it’s easy to stray when a “better guy” comes along to play.

#14 Women cheat for the dumbest reasons. Men cheat because they find someone sexy. Women cheat for the dumbest of reasons, to prove a point, to get back at her man, to let him know she’s not getting enough attention, to get something they really want and more dumb reasons.

#15 Women have cravings. That is, chocolates and unavailable traits in men. If her man’s not very clean and tidy, and she meets a coworker who’s a perfectionist when it comes to being clean and tidy, she’ll involuntarily be drawn to that trait. So if a guy wants to lay a girl, all he has to do is show off a trait her boyfriend doesn’t have and she’ll diveboard into his bed.

#16 Women get attracted to any man who makes her feel good. Men usually have affairs only with women who are sexually attractive. So unless the guy is rich or super charming, his odds are slim to have an affair with the girl of his dreams. But women cheat with any loser who knows to treat her better than her boyfriend.

#17 She’s a gold digger. There’s no point here. If you’re dating a woman who’s more interested in your money and the fun times you give her than she is in you, you can’t hold on to her unless you strike oil.

#18 Women cheat when they’re emotionally vulnerable. Men need booze and a sexy girl to cheat. Women just need to feel vulnerable. They’d feel vulnerable for the smallest of reasons and circumstances. And if another guy makes a move at the right time, he’ll be able to sleep with her that very night.

#19 Committed women love getting the attention of other men. And when they don’t get the attention from a guy they like, they try harder to get a second glance. Why do you think girls go weak for bad boys who treat them like crap?

#20 Women don’t learn from their mistakes. Women make moves and mistakes, and they regret it. But they don’t learn. They know when they’re crossing the thin red line with another guy, but they just don’t try to put a stop to the guy because “they like the attention”.

#21 Women cheat when they’re unhappy in bed. Do you have a small weeny? Or are you suffering from impotency or erectile dysfunction? That’s reason enough to cheat on you, don’t you think?

#22 Her man’s charm is wearing off. If a woman isn’t sexually attracted to her man anymore, she’ll definitely dive head first into any other s3xually attractive man’s pants.

#23 Women are stereotyped. Most men look at women as cute, walking talking s3x toys. Hey, women can only resist temptation so much. If a woman’s constantly being hit on by a million guys everywhere she goes, it’s only a matter of time before she succumbs to temptation, wouldn’t you say?

#24 Once bitten, never shy. A woman may cheat and get over it after a heartbreaking while. But a few months later, the drama starts all over again. Women just like the constant rush of falling in and out of love all the time.

#25 Do women really ever want to be happy? Really, a woman could be in a perfect long term relationship with a perfect guy. But all she has to do is meet another great guy who knows how to steal a girl and she’ll do his bidding in no time. Perhaps, women think they like being happy when in reality, all they want is to experience bursts of happiness and lots of confusions all the time.

Well, so why do women cheat so easily? For all these 25 reasons and more. And sometimes, they don’t need a reason at all.

Just ask me, my not-so-steady girlfriend confessed to cheating on me a week ago. She looked into my eyes with her big, beautiful eyes and told me she was sorry and she regretted it. And her reason, well, she doesn’t know why. All she knows is that she’s sorry because she slept with another guy when she’s in love with me.

Seriously, kinda makes me wonder if women need a reason at all!

Reasons Exs will Always Come Back

Relationships tend to be complicated. There are gives and takes, ups and downs, and of course the rocking of backs and forths. Eventually a couple will hit the wall and decide for a myriad of reasons the relationship needs to end. This will either happen amicably or one person will make their exit while the other insists it can be worked out. Both parties go through the grieving period and they slowly try to piece their lives back together.





A woman will find that she’s no longer missing “him,” she no longer looks at her phone hoping he calls, and she can finally get used to the lack of warmth on the other side of the bed. And just when it seems like she’s turned the corner, the ex-boyfriend shows up wanting to reconcile and try again.





The question going through her head is, of course, why? And here are four reasons why a man would come back to a woman after a break-up. (It should be noted these things are heavily dependent on the what led to the break-up in the first place and they should not be taken as a “one size fits all” option.)







1. He still loves you. The simplest and most self-explanatory of all the options presented. We’ve all been in relationships where even though the relationship was broken, it didn’t mean the emotions were severed as well. Sometimes relationships get convoluted and two people will lose themselves in the day-to-day activities. Couples can get so caught up in all of the “goings-ons” of life that they forget why they’re together in the first place. Unfortunately, one of the things that will get overlooked is the love between both people.





Maybe the break-up came after a heated argument or there was simply a lack of communication. Maybe a man just had too much going on at the time and felt like being in a relationship was overwhelming. Whatever the case, love is something we’ve relied on to explain situations we otherwise have no explanation for. When men fall in love, they fall hard and for some men, just walking away from that love without giving it a last ditch effort isn’t enough.





2. He’s grown up a bit and wants a chance to rekindle that old flame. Love can be inconvenient. A man might be in a stage of life where he’s trying to establish himself and working on the foundation to build his future. And in the midst of all that he may end up finding love before he’s attained those goals. From my observation women, generally, tend to believe that love can happen at anytime and are more apt to go with the flow rather than put it off until later.





A lot of men, on the other hand, try to get into the groove of identifying who they are professionally before they decide to take on the personal. We tend to be cognizant of missed opportunities and situations which would have played out much differently had they happened a bit later in our development. A man will occasionally reach out to one of the people in his past because he feels as if he’s in a better place to accept and nurture that love.



3. He knows you’re going to take him back. Unfortunately, there’s an ugly side to all of this. Some men decide a woman is invested in them to the point where rejecting said man isn’t really an option. Truthfully, people in general don’t do a good enough job of controlling their behavior when presented with what seems to be a limitless opportunity.



For example, let’s say I handed you a debit card to a bank account with an unlimited amount of money in it. When handing you this card I say, “you can use as much money as you want without any drawback, but try to limit your spending to only $100 a month. Nothing will happen to you if you use more than that, but I’m just asking you to only use it moderation.”



More than likely, if there’s no reasonable explanation for you to NOT use that money, you’re going to use as much of it as you like. That’s typically what’s happening with men being the person handed the debit card, and women being used as the bank account. If some men know they has unlimited access to you to wield at their discretion, unfortunately, they’re going to take advantage.




4. You’re a security blanket. I haven’t lived in my mother’s house in almost six years. My mother loves me dearly though, and she will always welcome me back into her house if I felt the need to move there. I go to sleep at night peacefully knowing no matter what happens in my life or how many mistakes I make, I can always go back to my mom’s house if I need to sit down for a while and get my ish together.



In some cases, men understand women are willing to go through a great deal of personal discomfort in order to make them feel no pain. The willingness to compromise in that manner is something men tend to love about women, but it’s also something that can easily be manipulated for the negative. Men who know women will always “keep” them whenever they fall on hard times, will sometimes use that to their advantage. In these scenarios, it might not always be a situation where feelings are involved on the man’s behalf, it might simply be a survival tactic. He knows the woman in question will provide whenever he needs it, so he knows no matter how far he strays he can always come right back.



These are but a few of the many reasons men come back to women after the relationship is supposed to be over, so let’s hear from you. What are some of the reasons you think men have come back to you after a relationship? Do you usually find it to be a positive or negative experience? Have you found yourself in any of the situations I’ve just listed and what have you done about it?



Hit the comment box and let me know.

"Friends with Benefits: Can Work. Here’s Why…

If you’re lucky, you’re f*cking someone you adore. You’re in a committed and monogamous relationship with this person and you can see marriage in the near or distant future. But if you’re not “lucky” right now — if you haven’t drunkenly stumbled, or gracefully sashayed into “the one” yet (and I say that with just the slightest snicker), you may be f*cking one of your friends.

The friend-with-benefits is becoming a common (non)romantic situationship and I would argue, it is its own strange, off-brand of auspicious.

As emotionally risky as consistently sleeping with someone you are blatantly disconnected from can be, 20 and 30-somethings are taking this plunge daily, weekly, and monthly in order to fulfill basic sexual desires.

How could a potentially hazardous but sexually fulfilling situationship with a person you kinda-like in a platonic way ever, ever, everrrr be a good thing?

Well, one of several young professionals I spoke to actually said doing a friend helped her maintain a healthy, hormonal balance. And experts say this is a scientifically-proven reality. Safe sex releases hormones, adrenaline and is a good form of exercise.

It increases self-esteem!

…And, apparently, we’re not mature enough to be celibate and wait for a soulmate to come along the way our parents and grandparents did.

Even though we are more interested in achieving personal and career goals before settling down then they were, five and ten years of jump-offs can add up if you’re sharply opposed to long-term celibacy the way our generation seems to be.

That being said, the “situationship” is not only a reality but a commodity.

Proof of this is in the conversations taking place on boozy Scandal Thursdays and in shoe-shopping marathons, after bar crawls during March Madness, and Sunday afternoons at the gym.

I’ve had my share of conversations with friends about how finding one of these fellas is more of a challenge than finding a mate. And while that may be a gross exaggeration, cut buddy falls right beneath boyfriend in my book.

A successful f*ck-around– according to the singles, and semi-singles, I spoke to– has to be consistent, considerate, reasonably attractive, reasonably good in bed, trustworthy, interesting, reliable, a friend but someone who doesn’t like you enough to become attached and who you don’t like enough to become attached.

The heart of the success of the friendship-with-benefits is precariously balanced between these platonic emotions and satisfaction with the overall situation. The minute one of those things goes awry, it’s over.

It’s really f*cking easy for all this fun to turn into a devastating and dirty breakup– just like a real relationship– as soon as natural, but unreciprocated feelings start to bubble up.

For an anonymous 27-year-old journalist, the relationship became a ping pong match of unrequited feelings. A young accountant from NYC’s situationship ended with a bottle-throwing blowup.

Often, drama like this is an occupational hazard–everyone has experienced some version of these stories. Situation-shattering conflict is often unavoidable, regardless of the spoken, or unspoken, rules of the relationship.

Successful friendships-with-benefits, do, in fact, require a level of compassion. You really have to be good friends, for it to work, while simultaneously being so starkly different that it would never work, for real. You have to be able to sit down at IHOP with her after a long night and enjoy her company enough to share a meal, but not a memory. And that’s an almost impossible dynamic to hold on to for any length of time.

After a year of weekly breakfasts, or seven months of scheduled Saturday night booty calls, somebody is almost guaranteed to get attached.

And though Black Hollywood, Steve Harvey and an assortment of other sexperts may try to propagate the load that it’s emotional women who find themselves yearning for men who don’t yearn for them, I know from being on the other side of this conundrum, that’s not the truth.

The same man I interviewed whose situationship made a tearful exit after chucking a bottle at him said that despite an overall disinterest in affection from a cut buddy, (his exact description was that it would make him feel “annoyed” and “guilty”) he would get into a committed relationship with the right woman.

Others I interviewed were either committed and unwed, open to, or seeking monogamy.

Neither women nor men would turn real love away, even if they were busy knocking boots with a long-term friend.

At least to me, it seems that aside from actually being friends, friends-with-benefits have to be content with the situation. In the relationships that were most successful– the longest of my interviewees’ lasted for nearly a decade– both parties had to be content with the situation.

But how is that possible, when the very basis for a friendship-with-benefits is unhappiness?

How can we maintain successful situationships when we are each so painfully aware we’d rather be doing the real thing with someone else?

…And when there are a slew of unpleasant emotions– like deal-shattering attachment, jealousy, anger and unfulfillment– is it worth it to keep doing this to each other?

I guess I’ll know for sure when it stops working for me.

Celeste

REASONS Why Men Cheat

I just want to know why men cheat after begging a woman to take them back? And does he think that because she took him back that she’ll put up with it? 

My coworker was telling us about an argument he had with the mother of his baby in which he ended by telling her that he’s not changing. I could see where her anger was coming from to a degree, I mean he did cheat on her so she was expecting him to be grateful that she took him back, but women’s intuition also tells me that she expected him to miraculously turn into a new person. 

Just some background for you, he admits to having side pieces throughout their entire relationship (including her pregnancy) and they broke up a few months after the baby was born because she found some evidence of his indiscretions. They got back together a few months ago but he still says that he’s cheating and will continue to do so as long as he wants. 

From the way he describes their current relationship, it seems as though he has gotten even more comfortable and offers no apologies for his behaviors in and out of the house. Of course, I realize that I have only really gotten half of these stories and he could just be exaggerating, but I doubt it. Why does a cheater even want to be in a relationship if he’s decided that he’s not going to be faithful? And does it signal to him that he can continue to cheat if a woman takes him back?

I’ll start off by quoting some statistics for context. I read a story earlier this year that estimated between 15 percent of women and 20 percent of men are unfaithful. Women are less likely to get caught. Ninety-five percent of women and 83 percent of men reported they “successfully” cheated without their spouses ever finding out. 

These are married people so who knows how desolate the landscape of relationships and pseudo-relationships looks. I only point this out to note that there are a number of unfaithful people among us and many of them will never get caught (or so they believe). Specific to your friend’s situation, you seem to have two main questions:

1) Why does a cheater even want to be in a relationship if he’s decided that he’s not going to be faithful? 

2) Does it signal to him that he can continue to cheat if a woman takes him back?


Why do cheaters cheat?

Women like to believe that they have a more sophisticated justification behind when and why they cheat – and it’s very possible they do. However, cheating is cheating so I’m not sure why folks are so caught up on being the morally superior in their immoral actions. That said, I’ll focus today on why I believe most men cheat.

While a lot of people have asked a similarly phrased question, I think this is the equivalent of asking why do people look for work when they already have a job? Most cheaters are in a relationship for the exact same reasons as their partner. It’s very possible they sincerely believe they like/love the person they’re cheating on. 

Men cheat because they don’t understand or don’t care about the impact of their actions. It’s a selfish act. These men haven’t learned to think outside of themselves or even if they do, they don’t care enough to stop.Although people attempt to confuse the two, whether or not you believe monogamy is natural is independent from the fact that the rules governing a monogamous relationship are pretty straight forward. 

Cheating is a conscious choice to break those rules.

Some people believe that if you truly love a person you would never cheat on them. I disagree, because that belief dictates that emotion is what drives people to cheat or remain faithful. In reality, there is far more logic involved in not cheating than emotion. I think we can all agree that Love is an emotion. 

Given the large number of people that cheat on their loved ones each and every day of the week, it is obviously not enough to stop people from cheating. That’s where logic comes into play. Love might keep you in a relationship, but it’s logic that keeps you from straying, especially when you believe you won’t get caught. Someone told me recently that men are as faithful as their options. This is only somewhat accurate. Most men have options. Honestly, being in a relationship might increase a man’s options considering there are a certain group of women that like to go after committed men – but that’s another blog for another day.

Most unfaithful men aren’t seeking out an additional relationship. In fact, most men aren’t even looking to replace or give up the relationship they already have. Unfaithful men are generally only seeking to satisfy physical needs. 

There is a smaller group of men who are looking for a woman to satisfy something they’re not getting at home – usually something ego based – but even these men are rarely looking to leave the woman they’re with. Going back to the job analogy, if a man has a job (or woman) that meets all of his basic needs except for one or two extras, he really has no motivation to leave this great job simply to go back out into the job market (dating scene).

In 9 out of 10 cases, men aren’t looking to replace the woman they already have. The exception would be if he meets another woman that clearly supersedes the woman he is already with. 

This is rare for a few reasons: 

1) if you’re already in a relationship, it’s difficult to get to know another woman beyond the physical; 

2) the woman he is already with has a head start because he’s familiar with her in his life; and 

3) the only thing more amazing than how long some women will stay with an unfaithful man is how long a side-woman is willing to remain in the side-woman role.

NEXT

Will a man continue to cheat if a woman takes him back?

This question is difficult to answer. The short answer is, “yes.” But, the longer answer is a man will continue to cheat for as long as he is a cheater at heart. Even if you do everything right, it is up to the man to be willing to change. 

If he isn’t ready, no amount of threats will make him be faithful to you (or any woman) if he is simply the type of man who habitually cheats. Although taking a man back or not taking a man back won’t dictate how faithful or unfaithful he will be in the future, continuing to stay with an unfaithful man without demanding change or holding him accountable will eventually enable his actions.

Haters gonna hate and cheaters gonna cheat


Source: GETTY IMAGES

Cheating is a character flaw that a man has to address on his own. I don’t believe in the ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ motto but I do believe a man has to want to change for himself if any such change will be sustained. If not, he’ll just revert back to his unfaithful ways over time. This is irrespective of the woman he is with. A true cheater will cheat on the perfect woman, because that is simply how he is designed.

Specific to your friend’s situation, it seems she has encountered – and continues to entertain – a man that not only has not changed, but one that has clearly stated he will not change. She is chasing a dream if she thinks she is going to inspire change in a man that doesn’t want to change for himself or her. 

If he ever does change, and in this instance I’m not sure he will, I can safely say it won’t occur one day before he’s ready. If your friend doesn’t want to wait that long, she should leave this man alone.
Are men’s reasons for cheating any different than women’s? Why would a man that knows he’s going to be unfaithful want to be in a relationship? 

Do you believe that once a cheater always a cheater? If not, what makes a cheater change and how can women tell the difference between a cheater who has reformed versus a cheater who is in remission?

10 REASONS WHY YOU ARE STILL SINGLE WHILE OTHERS ARE HAPPILY MARRIED!!

The internet is not at all short of posts about why you or anyone else is single. It’s actually a ploy to try and get you to keep reading blogs, online magazines, or however any of these sites wants to classify themselves. Let me be the first to tell you, most of those articles are full of shit. They are like negative horoscopes that are so open-ended that it could apply to anyone. Have you ever read a horoscope in the paper and really didn’t know how it applied to you? They always are hedged perfectly;


“Libra – Today is going to be one in which you’ll seek much clarity for something that’s been on your mind. Some will be willing to help you and others will not. Deciphering between those two groups will help you find the answer to what’s been on your mind.”

And then you’re like… what in the hell does that mean? That’s exactly what those depressing relationship blogs about why you’re single sound like!

That’s why this post won’t be that way.

Here are 10 (or so) harsh realities about what separates the hopeless from the hopeful:
Ugly people typically don’t get married or dated. While it would be easy to say fat people fall into this category too, it’s actually not fat people, it’s sloppy people.
People with screwed up views on dating are typically single.
Those who sweat the minutiae of courting, dating or whatever else you want to call it are almost always single and looking… their ad is on the second to last page of the newspaper.
If you’re convinced that you’re going to find someone who’s going to love you for you, kill yourself now.
After a while, you have to accept that you’ll have to date someone in your league. (This means, if you’re a hoe, just admit to being a hoe and start dating other hoes.)
Men and women who refuse to believe that gender dynamics exist and aren’t going anywhere anytime soon should line up single file in the unmarried line and start collecting benefits.
Everybody has a closet, everybody keeps baggage in that closet, some of that baggage you can never get rid of and nobody will ever want to deal with. Deal with it.
If you ever feel like you’re teetering on the line of hopeless, start making some concessions.
At 30, don’t overreact. At 35, buy cats. At 40, be the best aunt or uncle you can be and cut it out. 

Remember the guy who guy hit the lotto at 80, but I bet you he wasn’t waiting around it.
If you have a long list of shit you won’t do, everyone else has a long list of why they won’t do… you.
Nobody cares about your daddy issues. Whether he was there and made you feel like a princess or wasn’t there and made you feel unwanted, nobody cares. Which also means fellas nobody cares about your mommy issues. If you’re a momma’s boy own it and work on it; nobody is trying to be your second momma.
All goals are not created equal; some of them need to be classified as hopes and dreams. If you want to have a great career, excellent lifestyle, marriage and family come to grips with the fact that you need to rank that list from most to least important.

Now pause for effect…



I know what you’re thinking, I agree, God hates us all. I guess the real takeaway here is that the majority of us are doomed. That’s just in line with statistics. Roughly 50% of us will never get married and the other 50% who do get married, roughly 50% of them will get divorced. I think I found a solution. Instead of dating or wasting our time in relationships, let’s just all focus on other things like ourselves and the pursuit of wealth and achievements. Wealth and achievements actually do make you happy contrary to what they always told us and not having to share any of it with someone else is probably the best way to go.

I propose a toast.

May your glasses never run empty (because you don’t have to worry about sharing it with anyone), may you be free of stress and strife (because you won’t have to argue with anyone or worry about their wants/needs/desires), and may you live a long life and prosper (because if you haven’t figured out the leading cause of death in women is men, and the leading cause of death in men is stress and heart problems, I wonder where that comes from).

Cheers.

READ THE 5 Lies Men Tell Women when They Date

It’s no secret that men and women lie in relationships. Hell, humans lie constantly (whether it’s to themselves or to other people). Men will usually tell these “little white lies” in order to avoid any headaches of a long, drawn out conversation, or to save a woman form the impact that his words might cause. 

Whether you agree or not, this is a fact. I won’t go into the reasons why women lie because I don’t have time to write that novel (YET). I saw some common fibs men tell reading an article on MSN. Since I am a man and I have experience with truth fabrication theory, I’ll speak for my gender here and provide some insight into this topic. I picked out the 5 lies men tell women that I liked most to discuss further:


Lie # 10: “I’m Stuck in Traffic”“He figures it’s much easier to just say this than to try to explain the real reason he’s running late,” says John Amodeo, author of The Authentic Heart. “Remember, men aren’t as good at communicating as women are.” The funny thing is, a guy will toss this line out even if what held him up is perfectly legitimate. Still, you shouldn’t let it slide — it’s a lie nonetheless.

People lie about their whereabouts early and often. Men do this because we don’t want to be reminded that we “should’ve left 30 minutes ago” to be on time. Yes, we can be punctual for other things but will lie through our teeth when we casually ignore timetables. Also, I believe that there’s a subconscious pettiness in men that will show up late for a woman because women hold us up getting ready for ANY event ALL THE TIME! If it takes you 90 minutes to get ready, why not get ready 2 hours in advance? If you know you’re going to be ready by 8, why tell us you’ll be ready at 7 and have us waiting an hour for you to come out the house?! The tardiness is both reflexive and unnecessary.


Lie # 9: “It Wasn’t That Expensive”
“Men like toys, and they don’t like sensing your disapproval, even if you don’t share a bank account,” Amodeo says. He could also be dropping this fib to try to prove he’s responsible with money, says Barton Goldsmith, author of Emotional Fitness for Intimacy. “He doesn’t want you to think that if you do share funds down the line, he’s going to blow them all on things like plasma TVs.”

I guess the quote above could be true for married couples that share a joint bank account. It’s pretty difficult to swindle that when bank receipts and online statements can tell on you. This is more evident to me when you buy a woman a gift or pay for dinner. I never like a woman I take out to eat to look at the bill. I believe a certain mystery should be maintained. Plus I’d rather her not be concerned about what the meal or gift costs. I can afford it and that’s that. Plus, we don’t want our dates going on Twitter proclaiming that they got a $200 date…


Lie # 6: “Sorry, I Missed Your Call,”
Lie # 5: “My Battery Died,” and
Lie # 4: “I Had No Signal”
These three lines all mean the same thing: I screened your call. Why? “Often men will feed you these lies because they’re afraid to tell you to back off a bit, that they need a little alone time,” Amodeo says. You might want to ease up on the checking in and let him miss you more.

Sometimes we cannot talk. We might be legit busy, in the middle of something, or just need a moment before we talk to you. Often, this backfires on us because you’ll then search our social media to determine whether “we have time to get those Twitter jokes off and like comments on Facebook but can’t answer your call”. Other forms of controlled contact are easier than phone calls (Gchat, email, text, etc.) and talking on the phone in certain situations isn’t conducive to a man’s current situation. It’s just easier if you don’t know that the curve was intentional.


Lie # 3: “No, Your Butt Doesn’t Look Big in That”
Look, if you assail him with the question in the first place, you’re really just asking to be thrown this all-purpose mollifier. “Every guy has a buddy who’s told him, ‘I answered this question wrong once, and my girlfriend wouldn’t have sex with me for a year,’ ” Goldsmith says. This is the one safe response he knows, so there’s no way he’s going to risk the worst by straying from it. If you want an honest opinion, go ask one of your girls instead.

I think they covered it well on this point, but I would disagree with this tactic. When you date someone, you shouldn’t aspire to be content with how you look if it is subpar from when you first met. When you’re dating you want to put your best foot forward. You go to the gym, dress nice, and make sure you’re at your best. Men will want women to be on their game (albeit unrealistically) 24/7. When men can hold themselves accountable too, they will realize that whether women like it or not, we have to be honest when they ask these questions, so that they don’t look crazy in the street. The WAY in which you answer this determines the impact. If you’re a dick about it and super blunt with no consideration for her feelings, you deserve the backlash. Sometimes backlash comes regardless, so I would always err on the side of comforting but honest commentary.


Lie # 1: “Nothing’s Wrong, I’m Fine”
A whopping 52 per cent of men have told their girlfriend this line. According to experts, this go-to fib is all about avoiding drama and protecting male pride. Men know they’re not as good with articulating what’s happening or how they’re feeling, so it’s easier for them to just keep you out of the situation. Next time he uses this line, give him a couple days and then ask him again if he is still bummed…and why. By then he may have figured things out.

This is something men say in general. We don’t want to appear weak so we will deflect with this line. Other times, we will say that because if the annoyance is minute, and we know we will get over it easily, we won’t want to discuss it at all. Women love discussing emotions and how they feel because that’s how they’re wired. Men can get over little things, but will discuss major issues. It isn’t a slight on you, it’s just that talking about little issues can make us angrier than we want to be and we’d rather get over it on our own.

The overarching theme here is “communication”. We tell these white lies but when they occur in abundance it highlights a bigger issue with the level of comfort you have discussing topics with the woman you’re dating. Try not to find easy outs, especially if small problems will become major.

Good list MSN. You guys got any more?

Are Your Assets Depreciable?

In terms of dating, is what you bring to the table valuable? To find out, make a list of 3-5 of your very best qualities. These are the attributes that set you, as a man, apart from other men (or in the case of women, set you apart from other women).

For each quality that you listed, I want you to answer these yes/no questions:
Can this quality/skill/attribute be purchased?
Does this quality/skill/attribute deteriorate with each passing year?
Can this quality/skill/attribute be easily outsourced?
Would it be fairly easy to find someone else with this same quality/skill/attribute?

If you answered yes to any of the above mentioned qualities, that asset is depreciable and is damn near worthless in the dating scene.

There is a specific group of men and women that I have been coming across way too frequently. Like the girls that look like video vixens but have nothing to bring to the table but their good looks and their vaginas and expect the world to be handed to them in return for that. They seem to be unaware of the fact that there are hundreds of other girls that look just as good or better than them that are bringing looks to the table in addition to other innate, irreplaceable qualities.

Likewise, there are men walking around with a menial full time job that have this air of entitlement expecting the cookie to be thrown at them after taking a girl to Olive Garden.

It doesn’t make sense that these people would be serving up a spoonful of frosting as if it’s the entire cake and then get mad when people are left disappointed and unimpressed!

Here are the qualities that many would consider to be “frosting.” These are simply perks that shouldn’t be bragged about because they’re not substantial or significant.
Sexual skills – Porn is easily accessible and available now and everyone is using it for entertainment and instructional purposes. Everyone is a porn star now. You’re not special.
Cooking skills – This is not a very noteworthy skill, especially if you only know how to cook soul food. If it’s not healthy in this age of 30 year olds dying of strokes and heart attacks, it’s not that serious. Anyone can go to Popeyes and pick up some fried chicken. Next!
Good looks – Every day that passes the more your skin loses its elasticity and your hairline takes on more of a horseshoe-like appearance. Why brag on something that you won’t always have?
Money – The people you want to be dealing with will already have that and wont be impressed by that. It’s redundant to show off and be overly concerned with something that the person you’re dealing with already has.

So what are irreplaceable qualities? In a nutshell:

Someone with a sense of direction and purpose. Financial savvy. Ambition. Someone who will push you to be your best instead of holding you back. Someone that is mentally and intellectually stimulating. A sense of humor. Loyalty. A healthy sense of self-worth.

These are the qualities you should be focusing on developing within yourself and feeling proud of. They are rare and will set you apart from the rest.

Stop focusing on and playing up your depreciable assets. You got a new pair of Jordans, that’s nice. You stay fresh, good for you. You have a fatty, great – so does half of the female population. Honestly, any person of substance and maturity won’t be too impressed by those things.

Spend time developing what makes you rare as a human being and less on things that could be put on, taken away or replaced at the click of a button and you’ll find that you will come across similarly unique and valuable individuals who you can connect with on a deeper level.

5 Ways Men Break Up With Women and Reasons

Letting go is the hardest part…

People have strange rules involving break-ups: You can’t break-up with someone within 72 hours of having sex, 7 days before or after their birthday, during the month of any major holiday, by text message, and never in the seasons of winter, spring, or summer. Given all these rules, you can technically only break-up with someone on Thursdays in September. Stop making excuses.

Let’s be clear, break-ups are never easy but they are a necessary evil. If you’re not putting a 110% into a relationship you are doing yourself and your partner a disservice. I have found that men employ five primary break-up techniques. I will discuss these below in the order of difficulty, from easiest to hardest, and hopefully provide some insight on why a man might have chosen a particular method in your past.

1. The Houdini: He disappears.

The easiest of the methods, all a man has to do is fall off the face of the Earth. He doesn’t have to explain himself. He doesn’t have to have any awkward talks. He doesn’t even have to come up with a good reason. This is reserved for women he does not care about: jump-offs, side chicks, [garden tools]. It may also include women he is confident he can avoid running into for the rest of his life (or at least 6 months), such as: out-of-towners, one night stands, girls he met at a wedding, friends of friends of friends who don’t run in the same circles. You may disagree but he has decided you are not worth the hassle of the break-up discussion. This is the most low-class disrespectful move a man can pull, yet it happens every day.

2. The Illusionist: He remains only in form.

Rather than formally break-up, he slowly withdraws from the relationship mentally, physically or emotionally. He wants out but he is not man enough to end it. Instead, he lets the relationship die a slow painful death. There will be no mercy kill. A coward, he might break-up with you over text or via a surprise Facebook status update to ‘Single.’ He really wants you to break-up with him.However, if you are equally weak willed or too stubborn to accept it’s over, this pathetic excuse for a relationship might last forever.

3. The Tiger Woods: He cheats.

Cheating is easier than remaining faithful. The Tiger Woods doesn’t respect you enough or have the courage to break up. He is, by far, the worst. He endangers you emotionally, physically and mentally because of his own selfish pursuits. In his mind: Me > You.

4. The Good Guy: You love him almost as much as you hate him.

You hate him because he uses you in the nicest way possible and you can’t do anything about it. You love him. He knows it. You know it. Most women prefer this break-up even though it is not the break-up they need. In fact, it is one of the worst. What women overlook is the fact that The Good Guy is inherently selfish. While he appears to have your best interest at heart, he actually puts himself first and always.




He is so fearful of being labeled a bad guy by you, your family or your friends he rather mislead you than accept this title. Since he never cheats physically, he avoids drawing accusation from you and eases his own subconscious. However, he mentally and emotionally gets a head start on checking out of the relationship before you in order to make his own transition easier.

After the formal “break-up,” he will still make love to you. Sure, you told him you can handle it but you’re lying. He knows, through sex, you are trying to lure him back or at minimum, keep him around. Regardless, he still has sex with you because he places his best interests before yours.

He feasts on your emotional and physical sacrifices until he is gorged but offers you nothing of substance in return. He leaves you feeling empty. He’s honest without ever telling the truth. He doesn’t lie, but he tells you want you want to hear instead of what you need to hear. For instance, when you ask if there is a future for you in his life he gives you an ambiguous response when he knows the clear answer is no. He uses you like a pit stop between serious courtships with other women but assures you his future is with you.

He uses your hope to keep you paralyzed while he uses the fact that you’ll always be there for him to propel himself forward. You’re left waiting, often in vain, as he gives the love you long for to other women until one of those women finally becomes his wife. Even in marriage, given the chance, he continues to let you believe there may be a future for you two if things don’t work out. Deep down both of you know this day will never come because, unfortunately, you were never anything more than his back-up plan.

An excerpt from a song by Alicia Keys, Lesson Learned, summarizes the “Good Guy” experience:


You give it one more chance
Just like the time before
But he already knows you’d give a hundred more
Until that night in bed
You wake up in a sweat
You’re racing to the door
Can’t take it anymore…

5. The Man: He performs the most taken for granted act there is: He tells you the truth.

Some men will never be The Man because it is the hardest break-up. The Man doesn’t bullshit a woman. He doesn’t wait until he has a back-up relationship. He knows you are worth more than a callous text message. Out of respect, he chooses to tell you in person. He is not cruel but he doesn’t lie. If he realizes the relationship is not heading in the direction you both agreed to he tells you.

The hardest part is the responsibility. The Man must step up and end the relationship even if she thinks it can be salvaged if he knows in his heart it cannot. When things get emotionally heated – and they will – he cannot engage in the same hurtful rhetoric she uses on him. Emotion, pride, and defense may make her attack and seek to inflame the same response in him. He knows that in order for her to cope she might need to hate him temporarily or forever.

Her friends, by obligation, must take her side; make him out to be the bad guy. The Man does not manipulate her emotions to save face like The Good Guy. He puts his pride and ego aside because he realizes it’s not about him.

Even in break-up, a man does what is best for the woman even if that means putting her needs before his own. He must look into her tear-filled eyes and continue to tell the truth. If there is no future for the relationship when she asks, he responds “No” and does not waver. He doesn’t encourage false hope. The Man realizes that just because she will settle for a part of him rather than none of him does not mean she doesn’t deserves a man who will give her his all.

The Man’s burden is the most difficult. It’s possible all he will have left to comfort himself is the knowledge that he told the truth. Having remained faithful in principle and in practice during their relationship, he will have to start over…alone.

This is why most men never use this technique, preferring combinations of the above rather than ever shouldering the full responsibility of being a man. They know being the man she wants is easy. Being the man she needs is difficult. Given the choice to end the relationship a falsely glorified Good Guy or living long enough to see himself labeled a villain, he chooses villainy if it will benefit the woman he cares about more. A real man recognizes that she deserves happiness even if he is not the man to inspire it.

10 Things Every Woman Should Know About Her Man

I often joke that the biggest hindrance to me finding women to date is how intimidating my female friends can be. I always imagine a game of taboo where I’m the keyword and my girlfriend probably wouldn’t be able to describe me to a room full of people, but if I let one of my best female friends do the same they’d break the Taboo single card world record. 

That’s for a few reasons – mainly because most people don’t really dig deep into the things they should know about the people they date. They really only know their partner from the medium of their relationship. I think that also you have people who project too much in relationships; they tend to use their relationship as a support system. 

People who project in their relationships are the same people who get left in the middle of the night and have no idea or reason why. They’re the people who have to grapple for years with the “what went wrong” after they experience heartbreak.

In addition, you guys know that I’m big on those things that I don’t think should have to be said in order for your partner to know that they need to get done. I don’t know what to call them outside of the basics or Relationship 101. It’s the requirements that a mate should possess at an inherent level – meaning nobody should have to tell you these things about how to be a significant other. 

Perusing the Internet for ideas for a post on Friday, the first day of Women’s History Month, I came across this list of 10 things women should know about their men. It was a pretty dope list and I thought I’d share my five favorites here, and then you can check out the rest if you see so fit.

2. What really helps him relax. Watching those Law & Order reruns may be your favorite thing to do after work, but don’t drag him into it. He needs to unwind too. Encourage him to do what he enjoys during the little downtime he has.
3. How often he talks to his ex. Yes, they broke up six months ago, but it can be hard to completely let go. You have a right to know and to tell him if it bothers you. Of course it’s more complicated if they’ve had children together. Let him know you understand he needs to have some kind of relationship with her and you are supportive of him.

4. Whether he’s a lefty or a righty. And I don’t mean which hand he writes with. It’s important to know where he stands on political issues that are important to you. For new loves, this can be a deal breaker, but it doesn’t have to be. Look at Mary Matalin and James Carville. For married couples, you will know what topics to avoid when you want a peaceful night.

6. His turn-ons. Some women never make the first move, but guys love it when you do. If his ears are especially sensitive, why not nibble on them and let him know how desired he is.
7. What really gets him down. Whether it’s when his favorite team loses or the anniversary of a parent’s death, you should know what makes your man sad. You can try to cheer him up or at least know you aren’t the reason he is acting so strangely.

What do you think a list of things every woman should know about her man should consist of? Does the list differ from man to man? Is there a list for things every man should know about his woman? What would go on that list?

10 Things Men Find Unattractive in Women But Probably Won’t Tell Ya

“And another thing, you’re baby mama, that b*tch is hating!”

1. Excessively Drunk Women – When I was a boy I thought a group of drunk women was the move. When I go to the club now and see a chick throwing up in the bathroom, I get repulsed. Who’s mans is this?!

2. All the way turned up – Why I can hear you in a club on any night is a problem. It’s loud, there’s loud music, and still I can hear your voice shrieking over the speakers. Or what about those women who can’t control their volume when their drunk and try and talk in your ear but they’re screaming?

3. Negative Women – These women think everything is wack. “How about this lovely 80 degree weather today?” “This is wack, why these girls think it’s ok to be wearing their open toes?!”

4. Impatience – They hate waiting. They are the type to tell you to let them know when you have arrived at the restaurant so they can leave their house. They have cavities on each side of their mouth from sucking their teeth so much.

5. Teen Spirit Women: Waiting to be entertained – These are the ones who are rimming the club waiting for the party to jump off. They bring nothing to the party, but will call it wack because it didn’t turn into a bashment. Although, they didn’t come to dance anyway.

6. Random hair cuts or attempts to go natural – Have you ever seen that look a man has when he’s been caught cheating? It is NOTHING compared to meeting up with his boo and she decided to cut all her hair off. Your hair was down to the middle of your back yesterday, but now you sporting a Kobe fro. We will not be partying like it’s 1999 boo.




7. Liars – You can just tell this woman is lying. And often times it’s about something she doesn’t have to lie about. She got a hating friend who tells you all her business, especially about how she buys fake designer shoes. And you witness her blacking on some dude; “My shoes cost more than your whole outfit, negro!” #DIQUE.

8. Ms. Know It All – I don’t even have words to describe this one because she probably wants to describe it herself. When you told her that eating too much salmon could cause mercury poisoning, she even brought her grandmother into it, “My grandmother ate salmon everyday and she lived to be 106!” Seriously, this woman can’t take a piece of advice or fact that she didn’t come up with to save her life.

9. Attention Hordes – These women are always showing out looking for a reaction in the building. She usually has the attention of most of the guys, but if there’s one focusing on one of her friends, she makes it a point to hook that guy too. “Oh you got a nice chest. Do you work out?” Meanwhile, dude ain’t got a six-pack, he got a loaf of bread and he’s drinking a 40.

10. Women who think they can do WHATEVER they want – These are the women screaming at the promoter outside the club. These are the women who will break things in your house because they are having a temper tantrum. These are the women who say things like, “And I will tell him to do it, and he will do that ish.” These are the women who end up at the Chesapeake Rest Area because their man didn’t make it out of Maryland before he put her out the Range.

Stories That Make You Think: Never Judge Anyone

Take a moment to read through the story below. I’ve seen it on a bunch of Facebook pages and several Tumblrs. The story will really make you think. If you read it before, it’s worth reading again.


A doctor entered the hospital in a hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call ASAP, changed his clothes & went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy’s father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor. On seeing him, the dad yelled, “Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have any sense of responsibility?”

The doctor smiled & said, “I am sorry, I wasn’t in the hospital & I came as fast as I could after receiving the call…… And now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my work”

“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??” said the father angrily.

The doctor smiled again & replied: “I will say what Job said in the Holy Book, “From dust we came & to dust we return, blessed be the name of God.” Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go & intercede for your son, we will do our best by God’s grace.”

“Giving advice when we’re not concerned is so easy,” murmured the father.

The surgery took some hours after which the doctor came out happy,

“Thank goodness! Your son is saved!” And without waiting for the father’s reply, he carried on his way running. “If you have any questions, ask the nurse!!”

“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait a minute so that I could ask about my son’s state?” commented the father when seeing the nurse shortly after the doctor left.

The nurse answered, tears coming down her face: “His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was in the burial when we called him for your son’s surgery. And now that he saved your son’s life, he left running to finish his son’s burial.”

Moral: “Never judge anyone because you never know how their life is & what they’re going through.”

My Husband Is Sleeping With My Mother, what should i do?

My mother is an attractive, interesting woman who dresses fashionably. Recently, I found out that my 39-year-old husband has been having se’x with her when he attends conferences at the resort near where she lives. When he told me, I was bothered by the fact that it didn’t bother me.




He’s a wonderful man—father to our two children and a good provider—and he’s always taken care of me emotionally, se’xually, and financially. I know I should be upset; I know I should feel betrayed on so many levels. But I just don’t. He says he enjoys the relationship with her but will stop if it’s what I want.

Honestly, if my mother and husband are happy in their affair, I just can’t seem to find the energy to be angry or jealous. So my question is: Is this normal? Should I be upset?

Can you believe that these celebrities are black? :-)

They may not look it, but these celebrities are actually black. See the hidden diversity of Hollyw0od.

#1 Rashida Jones

She's currently on Parks and Rec, but has been on The Office and in movies like The Social Network and I Love You, Man. Her dad is music mogul Quincy Jones. Her mother is actress Peggy Lipton.

#2 Mariah Carey

Mariah's father was of African American and Venezuelan descent. Her mother is of Irish descent.

#3 Maya Rudolph

You know her from Saturday Night Live and movies like Bridesmaids. Maya is the daughter of singer Minnie Riperton and music composer Richard Rudolph.

#4 Wentworth Miller

Miller is probably best known for the show Prison Break. His father is African-American. His mother has Dutch, French, Swedish, Lebanese/Syrian, Austrian, and Polish ancestry.

#5 Adriana Lima

You're probably seen Adriana prancing around in her skimpies for Victoria's Secret. She has Brazilian, African-Brazilian, Portuguese, French, and Caribbean heritage.

#6 Gabrielle Reece

She was a world-class volleyball player. Now she's a model. Her father was Trinidadian. He was killed in a plane crash when Gabrielle was five.

#7 Slash

Saul Hudson, AKA Slash of Guns N Roses fame, is one of the best guitarists ever. His mother was African-American and his father is English.

#8 Pete Wentz

He's the bassist for rockers Fall Out Boy. He was born Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III and his mother is Jamaican.

#9 Jennifer Beals

You want to watch Flashdance right now, don't you? No famous parents here, but Jennifer's father is African American and her mother was Irish.

#10 Soledad O’Brien

She's an anchor and correspondent for CNN, HBO's Real Sports and Al Jazeera America's America Tonight. Her mother is Cuban and her father is Australian.